Fade out

Sitting with my son and daughter-in-law I was struck by her glow.   A dark beauty at all times, she shone last night in a tangerine blouse,  dangling hoops and the flush of having just enjoyed a dinner with friends.  As I admired her I was swept to a time fifteen years ago when I had a similar hairdo, bright clothing, bold jewelry, etc.  I basked for a moment in the memory of my own fire and passion.

Jacqueline Bisset  said,  “Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades.”

My youth has faded.  My face has faded. My hair has faded. I don’t envy the beauty of my daughter-in-law.  I love it for her.  And I mourn the passing of that time in my own life.

I made the decision almost a year ago to take the last step with my hair.  I was born a dark brunette.  My hair was white at 40 but I colored it.  First, I dyed it dark, then lighter, then reddish.  In my late fifties I got so tired of trying to keep the roots colored that I succumbed to the universal blonde of aging women.  I lived happily with this for several years.  I gave up the colorist and became a master at dying strips of different shades into my hair, giving it that sun-bleached natural look.

I looked up one day and realized that my hair and face were almost the same color.  And so I looked at the bottom line:  1) I was tired of the continual battle with hair dyes; 2) any and all of the colors that I had lived with would be unflattering to me now ( I lacked the courage for European red); and 3) My skin was calling for my natural color which is pure white!

I am waiting now for my character to click in.  I don’t feel so fortified.  Just colorless.  Let me think., what make-up would…



  1. Katrina says:

    You are NOT colorless! you are if anything more beautiful right now, which is amazing, as you have always been beautiful! Your skin isn’t “white” like mine but more of a “golden” color as you were burnett so you have more coloring than “blondes” do; With my blonde hair, white skin, & blonde eyelashes, I felt like a “ghost” who could fade into the white walls or wallpaper & no one would ever notice! Remember when you & I dyed my hair auburn because of that very reason; my roots were fire engine red? And you ran to the store; got some “brown rinse” so every time I shampooed I would use some on my roots?


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