I am healthy!!!!!!!!!

My body is meant to behave.  When it doesn’t, I’m irritated.  Also, I am in a quandary: did it betray me or did I betray it?  My strong core belief is that I needn’t be sick, in pain, or incapacitated.

My mother used to say, “We don’t have to be sick to die.”  I believe her. For instance, I don’t get colds.  I say this, I mean this, and I haven’t had a cold since I made the decision.

I have a cold.

My body has won out over my will.  I have lost the struggle between treating my body well and being self-indulgent to my own detriment.

Back up a minute.  I have food allergies.  When I take care to avoid the foods that give me grief, I don’t have respiratory allergies.  When I indulge, my face breaks out and I don’t feel so very good.   I go round and round with myself about the allergies.

“Oh, I can have eggs every once in awhile.”

“Wheat isn’t that bad, it just gives me a bit of a cough.”

“Milk may not count if it is in baked goods, or cheese, or Greek yogurt.”

“I can have a LITTLE garlic.”

My constant mental game is about whether or not I have the allergies.  Can trick my body, and how far will it take me if I abuse it?  I know the answer…not very far without a tune up.

So how did I get a cold?
A.    Did I weaken my physical resistance?
B.    Did I let doubt weaken my will?
C.    Did some sniffling clerk expose me at the checkout?

I choose A and B.

I have been nose-to-nose with my grandchildren, lips-to-lips with my husband and side-by-side with passengers on airplanes, all of who had colds.  I haven’t been infected.  Now I have eaten everything possible that I shouldn’t eat; ignored the resultant cough, ignored exercise; and harbored a fear that my immune system is lagging because of my behavior.  Gotcha!

The first night I talked to myself in my wakeful hours.  “You don’t have a cold (but you deserve a cold}.” “How can you admit you have a cold, you don’t get colds.”  “I’m going to be VERY good tomorrow and settle these allergies down.”

Now I have been in hiding for two days.  My better reason is that I don’t want to expose anyone.  My selfish reason is that I don’t want anyone to tell me I have a cold.  I am in here trying to figure out how to regain my solid stance.

I don’t want it to be that I get colds once in a blue moon.  I want to say and believe that I don’t get colds.  I want to be secure in the knowledge that I worry about the swine flu.  I want my will, my courage, and my immune system to be indomitable in the face of exposure to illness and injury.  I want to see the cause from a distance and prepare my defense.

So I am creating my personal health challenge to myself: Walk the talk!

A-a-achoo!  Starting here, starting now…

xxoo