I’ve been working on this stress/food relationship for a couple of years. Once I identified the close correlation, I began my journey toward mindfulness. Why am I eating? What am I solving? Am I helping myself? Am I harming myself?
Yesterday I traveled to the stress. Coupled with my own propensity to fast forward, and my ability to create my own story line; there is the normal family dynamic, family dissension and my concern over the well being of cherished descendants. Enough to set me back on my heels.
But I was prepared. I meditated. I had no time for my full yoga workout but still did a few moves, reassured myself of my own limitations in facilitating change, squared my shoulders for what I might face and…
By the time I returned home I had happily (I thought) accomplished all of my family missions. I had seen, touched, hugged and talked with my children and grandchildren. I had reassured myself.
I woke this morning with the reality of how I made it through.
In twelve hours I had driven 400 miles. And I had eaten (in addition to a healthy breakfast before I left) a great slab of bread with butter, a giant triangle of pepperoni pizza, an oatmeal raisin cookie the size of a luncheon plate, a Whopper, fries and a coke. (Go figure, I don’t like sodas, don’t drink caffeine, and haven’t had more than a few sips of Coke in five years.) Oh, and a few slices of Fuji apple.
Before bed I ate some nuts and drank a glass of scotch as I numbly watched taped Oprah shows.
I get that awareness is the first step. Yesterday, I had none. If alcohol were my problem I would need to check into rehab.
Today I am trying not to stress about what I ate. And I have a new framework for my future relationship with food. Let it be as good as my relationship with my family. I’ll work on that.
It’s a new day!
Happy to hear all is well with you and yours! My favoritest food is popcorn; made with an air popper; smells so good; makes me happy; and I can put different seasonings on it; like to make garlic and parmesian but like just about any toppings!
If you are stressed it will make you happy! Put a smile on your face; and if you make yourself eat it a kernal at a time instead of by handfuls: it stretches it out and teaches you patience and to savor your food!
Really took me a LONG TIME though to eat it a kernal at a time!