Don’t be like me…

Hi Kids.

I’ve had a repeat “Aha” moment this week.

When I listened to Christine Northrup on PBS a few years ago, she commented on the patterns we learn from our parents…specifically from our mothers.  Paraphrasing, she said that it is very difficult to change our patterns of aging from those our own mother has imprinted on us.  (I’m going to guess that would include sons mirroring fathers and all children mirroring parents.)

At the time I watched the program, I remember being grateful that my mother really didn’t see herself as aging, that she continued to do as she liked and didn’t consider either gender or age to be a factor in her decisions.  I still love that.

It just that I have a bit more insight this week.

When I looked at my aspirations list (per Deepak Chopra’s instructions) I read in part, “I am lean, active, healthy…”

It’s a good aspiration.  And I want to want to be active. I want to want to walk and I want to want to do my yoga moves each morning along with my core exercises every other day.  But I don’t.  That is, I don’t want to.

Time for self-evaluation.

I think of myself as active because I spent years jogging, doing little baby triathlons, playing volleyball or racketball and walking with friends.  I was always capable of a sprint when necessary.  I can lean over and touch the floor with my flattened palms (even in high heels).  I go along and I usually  used to keep up.

Then I remembered our trip to Sun Valley in July.  There was another “aha” moment.  I realized that I didn’t dislike hiking.  I just dislike hiking with my family of competitive, athletic, run-to-the-top sort of hikers.  When I hiked alone, I loved it.  What’s not to like…beautiful scenery, fresh air, birds, wildflowers…I digress.

The point is, I no longer keep up.

I now realize that I am inherently a sedentary person.  I enjoy reflection, music, reading, writing and almost any television that includes Oprah or her guru types as long as it is taped and I can skip commercials and repetition.

Hmm…  I am aging like my parents.

They were thinkers, writers, and active in the sense that they were able to wander around and take care of their own needs and wants until a couple of weeks before each of them died.

This is just fair warning to you.  I am trying to crack the mold so that it will be easier for you to break it.  But keep your wits about you.

I hope that I have traits that you will wish to emulate.  But you will need to be clever and watchful not to unthinkingly follow my imprint unawares.

Look for the “aha” moments where you least expect them.



  1. You can bend down in heels and touch the ground with flat palms?! I audibly gasped when I read that. That is something to emulate. WOW!!

    By the way, I think writing this blog, although it doesn’t require aerobic exercise, is and will be a gift greater than you can imagine for your children and grandchildren. Since I don’t have a thoughtful lady in my life who does it, I’ve adopted you! Thanks.


    • Ah, Love, (An address I sometimes use with my children and grandchildren) I’m happy to adopt you. You can be my writing star!



  2. I think we both did a little soul searching this week. Yours is beautiful and I am so happy I did not read it before I wrote mind otherwise it would be 9 pages long. Your mother sounds admirable. I hope I can continue to live life as an active person until my demise as she did.
    I would love for you to read a friend of mine. He does not have a blog but I am going to have him as a guest writer soon. His name is Tony and he also writes to his children. I think what you both are doing is the most loving thing a parent could do for their children. I feel so privileged to be able to read your life lessons.


    • Thank you so much for your nice words. I enjoyed your post so much, too. And I’ll look forward to reading Tony. We all have something to share, don’t we?


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