…on Meeting Halfway

(NOTE.  This is one of a series of requested letters that will be posted under “Form Letters” for those of you who would like an idea or a template for a letter of your own.)

Dear Daughter,

I am wondering what has gone wrong between us.  We see things very differently.  I feel as if I have been loving and supportive to you.   You feel that I have let you down,

As a single mother I couldn’t provide you with everything you may have wanted.  You have a good education and are well launched into a career and yet you have expressed your disappointment in my ability to provide for you still.

I stand ready to help you in anyway I can, but in return I must ask for courtesy and respect.  I don’t think it is good for either of us if I succumb to your demands and at the same time allow you to treat me as if I have no value in your life.

I know that I don’t always say the right things.  And I’m not totally sold on your boyfriend and may have been too vocal about my concerns.  Sometimes I do forget that you are a grown woman and not still my child to protect.  But I wonder what has caused all of this animosity between us.

I want to be a part of your life.  I want you to be a part of mine.  But we will have to have some different ground rules for our future.

First and foremost we must be able to talk peaceably about what each of us needs from our relationship.  As I age, I would enjoy knowing that you care about me, and my life as much as I care about yours.  I realize that this is a shift in our relationship, but you are a grown woman now and our love and respect should be reciprocal.

I would like to know that you are safe and happy in your relationship.  I’d like to hear about your job and know that you have a supportive group of friends.  I’d like to share your joys and sorrows.

Because of our disagreements, I may need some time to lay aside my hurt feelings and resentments.  I respect the fact that you may need the same.

Have I expressed how important you are to me?. Most of all, know that I love you and care about you.  As always, I want the very best for you.


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