Who will I be when I get there?

For many years (15) pre-COVID I left in early January and spent a month in a casita at a small village Mexico.*
* * *
My husband asked me why I must leave.

Why would I take myself from everything comfortable to a more primitive life where I must carry some of my personal necessities in order to live a semblance of my normal life?

Why would I leave my loving circle of friends and family to live in a place where I am known, but I’m not a part of the life. I have acquaintances but there is a language barrier to  having a communicative friendship.

Why would I leave my house with all of it’s conveniences and luxuries (which I love), to go to a place where I am constantly sweeping dust, swatting mosquitoes and heating water on the stove to wash my dishes and/or my underwear by hand?

It’s simple and sad.

I have not learned well to be myself.  I cannot release my dependency on and responsibility for the people in my life who I love and cherish.  I must remove myself to be myself.

I’m working on that.

The Student

Originally published: My Life Class January 6, 2012

* you couldn’t find my blog about Mexico  at the bottom of the homepage.


    • It really changed in a years since I wrote that. I have become so attached to my family there (Mexican) that it was very poignant to say goodbye the last time i was there. For the previous two years I left with the feeling that I might not be able to return.


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