What I’ve Left Behind

My husband will probably never understand why I travel. And especially why I put myself in tenuous situations and call it a break.

I want to give him a shout-out. I meant to do this as I was leaving…but…

In case you’ve noticed my absence, I’m in Mexico where the internet is unreliable at best. I spend my time carrying my computer (to which is attached a “stick” with Telcel covereage, or not) to a place where there are more than three bars. This doesn’t mean it will work. It just indicates a higher possibility. I’m trying not to be frustrated. After all, I can still write. But I’ve gotten used to sharing my ideas as they come up. I miss that.

I understand that in a relationship we needn’t ask for permission. There is no “letting” me do what I want to do. Although we are married, I still make decisions for myself. And yet there is such a thing as cooperation. And compromise.

And there is total and utter confusion. Which is what he feels when I go away for a month at a time. And which is why I appreciate his attitude.

He could be Billy the  Butthead. He could act as if he approves and then be a passive-agreesive jerk. He would be within his rights to question the time, the money, the responsibilities left behind. Because we are a team, whether we work well together or not.

Instead, he picks up the load, does my work as well as his and becomes mother and grandmother as well as father and grandfather. He hosts our company. He carries out our monthly social obligations. (I don’t think he misses me on that one.) He cares for our properties, our problems and any questions that arise that neither of us could have foreseen.

He and my daughter pick up the pieces that I missed before leaving so that the puzzle of my life in a foreign country goes together as smoothly as is possible.

What a guy!



  1. My late wife did all the things that your husband does. I was a salesman and traveled constantly. Whenever I was at home, we either had to go for social occasions or had to invite people over. For thirty years of our married life she managed. Towards the end, when she could not, she was so contrite that words cannot describe her regret. Yes, if we have what the Irish call the Anam Cara for a spouse, we can experience life differently from most other couples.


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