A Small Hope

None of us is immune.  Each of us can lie awake in the night wondering:

“Could this happen to me?”

“Will my child die needlessly?”

“Is my child a killer?”

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families.  My deepest wish is for comfort and nurturing for the Holmes family.  My concern is for a world in which there are now more people injured and dead due to random violence and another family is ripped open by that violence having erupted from within its circle.

The immensity of the tragedy is played out on a small scale with each and every one of us every day.  Some small transgression by our son or daughter may cause us to wonder.  Is he normal?  Is she depressed?  Was that an appropriate response?

We can blame the violence on television.  We can fault the virtual reality of countless video games that allow children to kill people without consequence. We can, once again, get on the bandwagon about the control of guns or the censoring of material on the internet.

What we can’t do is be assured that who we are, who we love and how we love is sufficient to protect our children from the world and the world from our children.

How could he have done that?  Why would he do that?  What was he missing? Where could an intervention have begun?

We ask these questions daily or weekly  in our own families.  We watch with concern when our child hits, bites, or isolates.  We do our best to foretell and forestall problems in the lives of those we love.

And it doesn’t always work.

Sometimes we did the wrong things.  Sometimes we did nothing.

Not all of us have paid such a huge price.

And so I am hoping that when every member of James Holmes’ family reaches the end of denial and shock; that they are able to soothe themselves with some assurance that we cannot know what is in the heart of those we love.  We cannot hear all of the deepest secrets.  We cannot foresee and block all of the paths that will lead our children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters in the direction of mayhem.

I am hoping that their friends support them in loving their child even though they cannot love the action that he has taken.

And I’m hoping that I can keep my heart open and unafraid.


  1. Yes, the poor family must be going through agonising times and it must also be a great dilemma as to whether the family should finance any defense!

    On the other hand, picture an older person who due to, for want of a better phrase, ill advised parenting style, had alienated his children. The children do not want to have any thing to with that person. How does that person reconcile to that reality when s/he is infirm and in need of help and assistance?

    Life is full of stories that are unfathomable. Reality is often more bizarre than fiction.


  2. James Holmes is mentally ill. Which is a part of human existence. Those people who cry for his death are no better. Instead – maybe – we ought to convey to James that life is not so terrible. Yes, sometimes things/people get you down. Yes, sometimes things/people are terrible. You knew as early as when you were 16-17 that delusions were not normal. You did try to conquer it with your intellect. It didn’t work. It is reprehensible what you did – there is no denying it. I know you think you can do a research project from jail from this. You are mistaken. TURN AROUND. No matter if you now think the drugs made you do it – YOU did it, no one else. TURN AROUND. Perchance you are schizophrenic – through drugs I suspect.
    Help others now – instead of being like Harris and Klebold. You at least did not kill yourself. Be MAN enough to admit you hated all. And change your life for betterment. There is another 11yo out there who is looking up to you. Don’t let him walk in your shoes. Batman’s Joker never was happy from all he did – are you?


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