My Perfect Gift

To Each and Every Perfect Grandchild  (You know who you are!):

Having you with me was the best present I could ever have given myself.  But my greatest gift came from you. Our time together was priceless and you made it happen by allowing me into your lives.

I can’t describe in words the subtle nuances of who you are and why I treasure you.  Yet your openhearted, open-armed acceptance of me as a part of this celebration says it all.  It would have been easy for me to have been relegated to the role of caregiver.  I could have cooked, picked up, made rules, etc.  Well,  I did that.

And so did each of you.  In this window of time our life became a collaboration. We functioned as a loving group, each member of which included, accommodated, supported and enjoyed all others of the group.

How did this miracle happen when we are all so different; in age, in individual tastes, in background and even in ethnicity?

For years I have pondered this concept of family love.  It is so all-encompassing. But although it begins perfectly it cannot be sustained without acceptance and appreciation of its core value.  That is what you have contributed.

You have transcended age, geography, education and interests and recognized that every difference is an advantage.  Every challenge is an opportunity.  You have proven that the bond created through the years is strong enough to reinforce itself when you are together.

This is possible because you each, individually, are exactly who you should be.  I’m not just being a grandmother here!  In the time we spent together I was able to see you as you are.

And I like you.  You are thoughtful and caring.  You are aware and curious.  You look outside of yourselves and think of others.  You are helpful and generously contribute.

You are fun and funny.  It takes intelligence to have a sense of humor.  I see it in each of you; the quick wit, the clever turn of phrase and the ability to look a life from all sides until there is something to make you smile.  You laugh easily at yourselves and with each other.

It seems a bit far-fetched to think of such young people as dependable.  But you are. Without your rock-solid sense of values this wouldn’t have been possible.  I counted on you and you always came through…not always as I would have thought…sometimes in unexpected ways.

The opportunity for me to spend so many days alone with my (mostly) adult grandchildren was unique.  Years from now when you have grown grandchildren, you will look back and realize what it meant to me.

We have created a memory together that will sustain you, too.  Although we are already back our normal catch-as-catch-can times together, we have a common experience of joy and sharing.  Your connection with your cousins and with me is strengthened.  My connect with you is eternal.

As your lives become more complex and include more responsibilities, it will be harder and harder to make way for such special moments.  My wish is that you can pull it off.  That you will make the space and allow for the time to nourish what you have together.

The older I am the more I am able to love unconditionally.  You have all made that simple for me.  It isn’t hard to love you.

Thank you being who you are.



  1. Thank YOU, for being the one to show us all how to be a family in that amazing way! (and giving the kids [and us] that miraculous opportunity). You rock, Grammy!


  2. Beautifully conveyed thoughts Mother. I can visualise your grand children reading feeling good. May all of you be blessed with a lot of love.


  3. You are such a wonderful grandmother. A wise one. An insightful one. It is clear you are loved as much as you have loved! I am so inspired. Every child deserves a grammy like you.

    “In the time we spent together I was able to see you as you are.
    And I like you. You are thoughtful and caring. You are aware and curious. You look outside of yourselves and think of others. You are helpful and generously contribute.” My favourite bits. Speak volumes. Sharon


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