…on Coming Out

Today is National Coming Out Day. We celebrate those who have done and support those who have not.  This post will be filed as a form letter but is also deeply personal to me.  I hope that it may be of help to those of you who have a gay loved one who has or has not yet talked with you.

Thank you, dear one.

Thank you for having enough faith in our love to share your story.

I remember my confusion when you gave me the letter.  It wasn’t that I didn’t know.  It was that I had no knowledge.  Homosexuality was not really on my list of topics.  I should have been girding myself with knowledge and awareness as I watched you grow into yourself. Yet I continued to move in ignorance and to go down roads of “what if we did…”.

I always accepted your truth.  I just didn’t always know what to do with my own concerns of how you would navigate your life, because it isn’t always easy to live in the open.  When you are someone who is perceived as different it is even more difficult.  And thirty years ago it was harder than that.

I applaud you.

I admire you for having been (and being) an activist. Even within your own family you have needed to continually educate and break down barriers of misunderstanding.

Thank you for developing patience for those of us who, even tho we are the closest to you in blood, cannot always understand what is closest to your heart.  We can’t know the difficulties of a path that you did not choose for yourself but were thrust onto by some mysterious genetic predisposition.

Sometimes I weep for you.  Because people who would not blame you for other inborn traits are quick to blame you for this.  They are afraid it is contagious.  They feel you should be saved.  They are uncomfortable with what they don’t understand. I can’t put a name to everything you face.  I can put a name to you.

Cherished child.

Faithful Friend.

Beloved partner and parent.

Intelligent, knowledgeable, brave, sometimes fearful, educated, self-aware, entertaining, lovable, vulnerable, life-long-learning-and-teaching, spiritual gift to this world.




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