Pardon me, have I mistaken you for…?

I like to wrap things up neatly in a box. That’s just one way in which I exhibit my tendencies to control. There you go.  Ship shape. Tied in a bow and handled.

On the flipside, I like to see myself as thinking outside the box.  Hmm…maybe.

It’s when people jump out from where I have put them that it throws me off kilter. It’s like my reaction to a jack-in-the-box; I’m always surprised. And sometimes I just want to stuff them back where they belong.

I had one of those reactions a few nights ago and I’m not proud of it. In fact, I’m still struggling to adjust. How could this man have been who I thought he was and still be doing what he is doing now?

Well, there are probably a number of reasons:

He was never the monster I made him out to be.

He’s mellowed.

Just because he’s a bigot and a bit on the sketchy side of ethics as a salesman doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart.

He’s learned some life lessons.

He’s not afraid anymore.

And speaking of life lessons…although I criticize others for judging people on middle school history, I do the same thing regularly. And although I pride myself on learning and changing and modifying my behavior, I don’t credit others with doing the same.

A more important lesson is that we all have a good side and a dark side. Everyone deserves as much recognition for the blessings they impart as for the wreckage they incur along the way. I allow for this in my circle.  I pardon the misguided behavior of my loved ones and expect them to forgive my mistakes.

It’s all in the filters, isn’t it?



  1. The reverse is more shattering as I found to my chagrin recently. Someone that I had a very high opinion of as a gentleman and an officer turned out to be a villain on the side. A side I had not known about, but the information that I got has made me very cautious in my dealings with him now.


  2. People are surprising! Don’t take them for granted. Remember we are all somewhere on our path, just not the same place.


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