Pardon me, have I mistaken you for…?

I like to wrap things up neatly in a box. That’s just one way in which I exhibit my tendencies to control. There you go.  Ship shape. Tied in a bow and handled.

On the flipside, I like to see myself as thinking outside the box.  Hmm…maybe.

It’s when people jump out from where I have put them that it throws me off kilter. It’s like my reaction to a jack-in-the-box; I’m always surprised. And sometimes I just want to stuff them back where they belong.

I had one of those reactions a few nights ago and I’m not proud of it. In fact, I’m still struggling to adjust. How could this man have been who I thought he was and still be doing what he is doing now?

Well, there are probably a number of reasons:

He was never the monster I made him out to be.

He’s mellowed.

Just because he’s a bigot and a bit on the sketchy side of ethics as a salesman doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a heart.

He’s learned some life lessons.

He’s not afraid anymore.

And speaking of life lessons…although I criticize others for judging people on middle school history, I do the same thing regularly. And although I pride myself on learning and changing and modifying my behavior, I don’t credit others with doing the same.

A more important lesson is that we all have a good side and a dark side. Everyone deserves as much recognition for the blessings they impart as for the wreckage they incur along the way. I allow for this in my circle.  I pardon the misguided behavior of my loved ones and expect them to forgive my mistakes.

It’s all in the filters, isn’t it?



  1. The reverse is more shattering as I found to my chagrin recently. Someone that I had a very high opinion of as a gentleman and an officer turned out to be a villain on the side. A side I had not known about, but the information that I got has made me very cautious in my dealings with him now.


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