Don’t Fence Me In

I don’t think I ever want to live in a gated community. It is a physical manifestation of what I am trying to work through in my life…that feeling of separateness.

I strive toward oneness.

Perhaps there is a certain oneness for the people inside the walls. The houses, yards, garages, landscaping, etc. are mandated into sameness.  Sameness is not oneness, however.

For me oneness is blurring the boundaries. Not just including my “out-groups” in my “in-group”, but grasping the concept that infinitesimal differences in color, gender, and all of the factors that we use to define ourselves as separate, are constructs of my mind; expanded and shored up as I walk through life.

And there are choices along the way.

I can confine myself within my own walls. I can become more of myself and less a part of the whole. It is easy to set myself apart by any manner of things: clothing, money, education, language, beliefs.  I can identify limitless qualities to define me on the scale of less than, less of, more than, with, or without. Subdivision and separation is infinite.

Or I can walk free; look around me with eyes open to similarities, to commonality. I can look for shared feelings and universal awareness.

Opening myself is a risk. More possibilities for injury. Fear of the unknown without the labels necessary to categorize.

Living in a gated community is not bad. It isn’t harmful. For now, it just isn’t me. I aspire to a wider sense of community. We’ll see…



  1. The one big advantage in living in a gated community as it exists over here is the freedom from the daily nuisances that plagues one in other types of accommodation. Plumbers, electricians, cable operator’s representative, EMTs, etc, are all available on just an internal telephone call and all utility bills are paid by the common office etc. In my view I think that both have advantages and disadvantages and I am about to experiment with both before deciding on one or the other or both!


    • That sounds like easy living…more like an apartment complex with a superintendent. Here, the gated communities that I am familiar with are individual houses (many times around a golf course, but not always) which have been built ti a similar theme. There is common area but residents have total a certain autonomy as long as they follow the general homeowner rules (which govern landscaping, etc.).


  2. There’s a lot in your post that resonates with me. Like you, I put open-mindedness above closing up, and if I lived in a gated community, I’d feel limited and imprisoned. However I need my private space, the feeling that I can withdraw when I need or want to. Those are boundaries I can set myself, but they are transient in that I’ll remove them again.

    How does it come you write about gated communities? Are there gated communities where you live? Because here there aren’t – the only gated community I’ve seen in Germany is the base of the remaining US troops close to Heidelberg, where there are fences all around and soldiers with submachine guns at the entrance gate.


    • Hi Kath. I’m visiting in Arizona and am staying in a gated community. They are very common in retirement areas in the U.S. I’m with you…that my personal boundaries are all that are needed in my living situation. (With perhaps a lovely garden to shield me from the noises of traffic, etc.


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