Denial, Acceptance, Hope, Faith…What????

“…denial is not a refusal to see the truth, it is the inability to see the truth.” Unknown

The big questions come up when my routine life is rattled by unexpected events: illness, death, and even great blessings. How did I get to this place? What did I do to arrive? What should I be doing now? Where do I go from here?

My recent health issues engender much thought and discussion because the medical questions are unanswered. It leaves room for constant speculation if I am willing to go there. But I’m sure my job is to maintain my equilibrium, love each moment of my life as it is right now, and not live within the confines or shadow of a possible diagnosis. Time enough…

Still, no matter how much I talk about not being attached to outcome, there’s a sticky wicket when it comes to accepting a proposed negative prognosis without peeking around several corners to figure out a way to create the best result possible. My mind chases frenetically for possible escape routes.

Does acceptance really mean I don’t examine the problem from all sides? Do I not try to find solutions? That doesn’t feel right.

But, then, is hope really just a lack of acceptance? Is it a way of creating suffering? Is faith denial – plain and simple?

I don’t have the answers.

It is in my nature and my nurture to look for solutions. I have profound faith – in a higher, greater, power as well as in leading a healthy physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual life. Experience has taught me that little adjustments can make a big difference. And I know that self-awareness  and consciousness open me to great discoveries about my life path.

Still, I acknowledge the comfort of letting go of uncertainty and just living. I enjoy walking confidently through my days, savoring the ease of feeling good and looking no more deeply than is necessary. What can be so wrong when everything seems so right?

In this moment – nothing!

xxoo

P. S. Well, I’ve always said that denial is a God-given privilege…but I hadn’t read the above definition.

Comments

  1. It is an interesting take on denial. I personally have trained myself not to be in denial about anything though occasionally I do slip but by and large quickly recover. I find that issues that trouble me are those that normally would be categorised as bad. When I deliberately refuse to use that particular value for that experience, and instead call it as just an experience, I find it easier to accept and move on knowing well that the experience will also be passing and ephemeral.

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    • Yes, Ramana, that works if we actually know we are in denial… That was the fascinating part of this definition to me. I have always assumed that I had a choice – to be or not to be – in denial. This changes the game to knowledge or ignorance. And I can easily slip-slide around the subject by realizing that sometimes knowledge makes no difference. If it is what it is, then why worry about WHAT it is?

      Like

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