As always, my feelings seem intensified on a holiday. My heart is filled with many emotions.
A chunk of it feels broken and bruised, holding place for my sister and her family as my nephew struggles for his life.
A raw spot chafes from the loss of our friends’ child who died this year. And more tender spots are marked for all of those young people who left too early and can’t be around the table with their loved ones.
There is a cozy hollow in it, saved to remember the friends and family members who have graced our holidays and our lives through the years but who now are with us as memories.
And always there is the background heartache for those who are suffering in the world. I think of them and wish my caring heart could comfort them where they are, all the while searching for what I can do both here and there.
Bubbling up and filling the corners of my heart today is gratitude and joy for another year of health and well-being for my children, my grandchildren, my husband and myself. It flows through my heart like needed oxygen, helping to heal the broken and empty places.
My heart sings a lullaby of contentment that wherever they are, all my children and their families are safe and warm and ready to enjoy the holiday with those who hold them in their hearts and well as their arms. My husband and I are in Colorado, relaxing in the precious time with our children and grandchildren who live here.
I can be confident that all of my extended family will be well-fed. And although there may be travail, each has much to be thankful for in this past year.
My heart knows that my emotions are complex. It twists with my pain but continues to beat steadily in sympathy for my sorrows. It thrives on the love I give and receive. It rushes to warm me as my life overflows with blessings.
I am thankful.