I Love You

Dear Children and Grandchildren:

I love you. And I wish i could always show it in the right way. I wish I knew how to say it better.

Still, life is like that between parent and child. Flawed. Inexact. Fraught with emotions and angst. And filled with love and true caring.

So I ask you to open your heart and know that I may have my own issues but most of my poking, and prodding, and pushing, are really my yearning for your life to be perfect. Can you look past what you see as my inappropriate conversational contributions and know that I just want what is best for you and want to share my experience and wisdom as a factor in your decisions? That it would seem wrong not to share?

Can you forgive me for all of that?

Because I realize the mistakes I make. Sometimes I want to bite back the words as they leave my lips (or at least correct the delivery). I know that it doesn’t help that I only want your happiness. I want your dreams to come true. I want your road to be smooth – with hardships so small that they are only pebbles along the way .

Can you believe that? Will you remember  it when I am making lists for you and voicing pitfalls in case you don’t see them coming?

Here’s a deal with you. I’ll keep working on language that is less invasive if you keep working on not seeing me as a mother – taking or leaving what I say as if I were a friend who is with you in commiserating, contemplating and mulling over issues and problems. I will try not to use my parent voice if you will release the child in you who is expecting criticism and correction in what I say and do.

There’s a freedom for both of us in this. You are free to live your life and I am free to be my authentic self.

I think this is another way of showing each other unconditional love. There is our shared knowing that you are capable of living your best life and that I have lived through some of the same difficulties you will face. Your self-assurance will allow you to hear input without taking offense. My confidence in you will allow me to sleep at night without trying to live your path for you.

Maybe this is one of the right ways to say, “I love you”.

xxoo