My dad died 10 years ago today. My mom died 20 years ago last month.
They both loved me very much. I wouldn’t want them to have lived with the grief of my having a stroke. Although they would’ve been full of knowledgeable suggestions. In fact, mom had a stroke at 75, too. And they were both proponents of natural foods, supplements and herbal medicine.
And they would’ve been prayer warriors. My family used to talk (half jokingly) about their hotlines to heaven. They would have laid hands on me and agreed in prayer.
But they wouldn’t have given me what I yearn for today as I listen to gospel songs. Neither of them would have looked me tenderly in the eyes, opened their arms and said, “I’m sorry this happened to you.” They would have thought it, but they believed in God’s will. They wouldn’t have hugged me and they definitely would not have been comfortable with my discomfort. If soothing is what I wanted, even the memory of my parents won’t serve.
It makes me wonder about my reaction to my children.
Forget about the past! I am going to start today and stand ready to be a comfort and to be comfortable. I want to be the one you can turn to. I understand that I won’t know what to say. I realize poignantly, and perhaps for the first time, that there is value in just being lovingly with.
I wish my parents were here and that I could ask them for that. I know they would have tried to give me what I need and want.
These songs remind me of my parent…