I don’t believe in family secrets. They cause undue stress, give nasty surprises and keep us from learning lessons that we could all share.
Yet it’s difficult to know how deal with when they are brought into the light. Do they require action? Are we to be involved? If there are differences, are we to take sides? Are they FYEO? (Substitute “ears”.)
I can’t answer for everyone, but I know what I would like you to do with my information.
Understand that I have shared my secret with you because I love you. And if we are to be intimate, you must know what is happening in my life.
Understand that there is nothing required of you unless I ask it. Don’t worry or problem solve for me, I am doing that for myself.
And remember that my story is my own. It isn’t yours to tell other than to your life partner…from whom I won’t ask you to withhold anything.
Do not feel required to come down on one side or the other. We both need love and support and equally deserve it from those of us who love us.