To You – the one I care about:
I click a button and know how many of you, my readers, are thinking about suicide. I look at the numbers and am staggered by how many of you are feeling that life is hopeless. I sense your desperation and despondency.
And I’m not the only one. Your death will affect everyone who has ever been touched by your life. You can’t comprehend that you will be missed. A friend once told me that when she is feeling suicidal she honestly believes that everyone will be better off when she is gone. This is not true!
Although I don’t know you personally, I know how your friends and family feel. I’m yearning to say the right thing. If I were to hear you had taken your own life, I would never stop questioning…was there something I should have said? What would have been the best words? How could I have done it better?
And I would do anything to take back anything I had said or done to made you feel worse. I would mourn the wasted moments I had spent with you…not knowing that they would be my last. I would spend my days and nights piecing together our lives, wanting to press the rewind button, wanting to see you, to touch you, and to hear your voice one more time. I would save your voice and text messages – searching them for clues while knowing it was too late.
I would wonder, too, why you couldn’t have talked to me. Why couldn’t you trust me with your agony? Why didn’t I know how serious it was? Why had I been blind? Or, if I had known – what could I have done to prevent your final act?
Truthfully, I know this isn’t about me. It is your decision and it is your life. You are living with pain and only you know whether the pain of being here is worse that what you will leave behind.
Still, I plead with you, “If you have a mother, a father, a sister or a brother try to imagine their loss. If you have friends who have tried to be there for you – even if trying wasn’t good enough, know that they will miss you until the day they die. And if you have children, consider the scars you will create. Don’t let them take the responsibility for your death. Don’t leave this legacy for future generations*.”
We all love you too much to let you go.
Call a friend. Join a support group. Find professional help. NOW!
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Reprinted from 2017