Being Enough

“If my aim is to prove that I am ‘enough’ the project goes on to infinity – because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.” Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.

Of course, I haven’t finished the book because it got me thinking… about the difference between “being enough” and “doing enough”. Maybe if we aren’t enough we can never do enough. Or can doing enough help us be enough? Hmmm…

Being “enough” is a huge issue. I went through so much of my life without thinking about why I struggle. I didn’t understand that everything I did was important because if I didn’t do it, it would prove what I already knew – that I wasn’t living up to my real potential and that it was evident to everyone that I was lacking.

Lacking = not enough!

It was a simple act in a group setting that brought the beginning of self-revelation. I had been talking (I can’t remember about what) and a woman looked straight into my eyes and said “you are enough”. I wept.

How do we began to feel we are enough? Does awareness  come like a lightning bolt? If so, I am still waiting. Or does it come as a slow peeling away and shrugging off of the unintentional messages from our childhood that we repeat to ourselves throughout our lives. Is it when we learn to put up a Teflon shield against the constant and insidious messages of movies, television, and magazines. Perhaps it is when we learn to put a filter in place before even looking at social media where everyone is perfect and has a perfect life.

Probably, if we’re lucky, we just slowly learn to appreciate ourselves. Somewhere we get the message that by being, we are worthy. We don’t have to do anything, look any way, or have anything. We are enough.

xxoo