I normally look on the bright bright side. That’s not to say that I have a sunny disposition – I don’t think anyone would view me that way. I’m too busy peeking around corners to see what’s coming and trying to prepare. But usually I am optimistic.
It’s been harder in the last year. Part of this is acknowledging pain when it comes. My shadow work in the last months has taught me to try to face my sadness rather than always looking at the upside. So, I don’t know if I am looking through a different lens or if I have stubbed my toe one too many times upon the series of unfortunate events that have occurred during COVID-19.
I’ve always looked my life as a blessing. Mostly irritations rather than problems. Not by any stretch of the imagination have I had a hard life. But, my latest injury has affected my ability to do water aerobics and that has affected me both physically and emotionally. Waa, waa…
My difficult year teaches me about myself and others if I pay attention. I am not surprised that things happen to me. I’ve never really been a “why me?” kind of gal. But I am surprised at my lack of resilience. And my impatience with myself.
I am approaching my 79th birthday and I don’t expect to look or feel like a young person. And I don’t expect life to be all smooth sailing, but I do expect some ability in myself to bounce back. In order to do that I have to work hard at becoming physically (and thus emotionally) as sound is possible.
Today I am starting a new order. I can’t ride my tricycle in a weakened state, but I can take a walk now that I’ve mostly healed. I can take five minutes dance breaks. I can go out and do a little work in my garden to ground myself physically and spiritually. I can learn about my shadow without living in it on sunny day.