Freedom – Day 2
The truth is that the end of quarantine is not as exciting as it would seem. Yesterday was a Super Bowl party in the main building – but then I’ve never watched the Super Bowl and my husband has become less excited about pro football through the years so it was a non-event for us. The most exciting thing about the day was that I was able to take a walk in solitude and did not really meet anyone I almost home. I met lady who lives across the hall at the entrance to my building and offered to walk with her. So for the first time I have walked in the halls. Of course, I wore a mask.
I really feel that I have become more of a loner since the quarantine. As I have told you I’ve had a lot of freedom. We have an outside exit. We have a car. We have created a lovely yard. And we have home and yard with which we are emotionally and physically still involved. So I have not felt lonely or trapped.
I have missed a few of the socially activities that we took part in. We loved poker three days a week. We attended both the Cocktail Hour in and the social Music Hour each week. But I can’t say I have been sorry to leave the communal dining room. Is sitting in is always the decision of whether to join someone we know, join someone who is alone or dine at a table for two.
Rather, I kind of miss the young people at the door asking me if we wanted breakfast or coffee. Even if the answer was no, it was good to see them.
Before quarantine I had conditioned myself to being social and meeting people during our transition here. It was work. For the last month I have been able to relax and not feel guilty about not forming new relationships. And some of the old ones have continued – visitors in the yard, walking companions, the neighbor-next-door chatting about our joint garden.
Instead of relaxing now that quarantine is over I need to back up, remember names and stories. re-establish contact, and work on creating a community. Forgive me for not being enthusiastic… I’ll regroup.
Since the lockdown in March 2019 I too have become more or less a loner in the sense that I am quite comfortable with my own company. Most of my friends too bar just a couple have found ways of keeping themselves busy and have got used to the new normal. I prefer sending for home delivery food rather than going out to a restaurant that my son and dil find strange as they prefer the latter.
It’s interesting, I don’t think I’m paranoid – I just don’t want to get sick. I know that since I have been vaccinated and boosted it would be a light case, but I’m still not interested. One thing about eating in this congregation situation, we are tested every week and Iwear a mask in the common areas. I still, like you, prefer my own company to most.
I understand all of this, though I also have to admit that I started embracing my solo presence back in 2019, when my ex left and it was just my mother and me. I spend most of my time alone, though I’ve had more company for meals out over the last 3 months than I had since the beginning of the pandemic in 2020. Being an only child, I’m good with my solitude.
Still, I don’t want you to forget to respond to my comment. 😀
I won’t forget you, Mitch. I am always happy to hear from you. If you read my most recent post you will see that I have actually started the work of rebuilding community. I rather like being a loner. I always have. But I like deep friendships,
too. I feel disconnected without them. So, the work continues…
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