The Day is Coming…

I walked into the room and Mary’s gaze swept over me and beyond. My heart skipped a little and I wondered if this was it. My self-talk as I approach the care facility is continual preparation for the inevitable. I remind myself of our conversation a couple of years ago when she asked me, “What […]

Joy and Sorrow in the Afternoon

I know! I know! I create suffering by my expectations. Still, I always expect the best. I’ve written before about my lifelong BFF. You can read about her here. I love this woman. In spite of her dementia, she is always thrilled to see me. Two weeks ago we had a wonderful time when I […]

A Sad Story

I can make up a story with the best of them. Give me a person to watch and I’ll give you a story. But why must my story be heartrending? I’m in a small village in Mexico this month. Coming back from the playa yesterday after my beach walk I neared an older man who […]

The Elusive Past

She gestures, looking around and opening her arms to the world, “I didn’t know everything would change.” Her mind won’t grasp details. If I asked her, she wouldn’t come up with examples.  Out of kindness, I don’t ask. I understand that nothing is as she would have expected. My friend has always been a take-charge […]

Grace by Acceptance

 Stages, by Herman Hesse As every flower fades and as all youth Departs, so life at every stage, So every virtue, so our grasp of truth, Blooms in its day and may not last forever. Since life may summon us at every age Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor, Be ready bravely and without […]

Learning, Learning, Learning

I have set myself up for some new lessons.* I realized how much I have to learn when I visited my Dad’s wife last week. She is losing ground to dementia. Memories are no longer shared and cannot be jogged to the forefront of her mind. It is becoming harder for her to assimilate words […]


There are few enough people whose eyes light up when they see me. So if I want to brighten my day, I visit my lifelong best friend. I picked her up the other night to take her to a concert at the local music festival.  The pianist, Andre Watts, is an artist we have heard […]

A Visit to the Present

This past weekend my dad’s 98-year-old wife taught me a valuable lesson.  She didn’t say anything new.  It wasn’t earthshaking information.  Simply an unforgettable object lesson. I love this woman. And she loves me…when she remembers who I am.  The times when it all falls into place, she is excited to see me.  She holds […]

History and Remembering

“What does your history with someone mean if they no longer remember it?”  My daughter asked this question on Facebook after we visited my Dad’s wife who didn’t recognize her. Talking with someone who has been a part of your life forever and who cannot connect you as a vibrant part of that life, is […]

When I grow up I’m going to be better.

I hope I will change when I need to change, because I’ve had another wake up call.  I hate realizing what I’m REALLY like. I go to a circuit training class for seniors. It has great entertainment value, which keeps my mind occupied as I do the dreaded exercises.  I face the room from the […]