Day of the Young

‘The mention of my child’s name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears.” Bereaved Parent It’s harder this year. Placing my nephew’s photo on the altar is an inescapable reminder that he is gone. And it brings all of the young faces into clear focus. Dia […]

The Spirits Are Arriving

“To forget one’s ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.” Chinese Proverb The visitations begin early for me. I get a nudge from my sister, Pat…”How about hummus?” Mom is always insistent on her butter beans (but this year I’m making her slaw). And I’m not sure whether […]

El Dia de los Muertos

I’m sitting by the altar this morning in my typical glow of nostalgia. The warmth of the fireplace can’t match what I feel from my memories. My thoughts somehow fill me with joy that transcends the pain of loss. Loved ones live again in a way that coincides with the ancient Aztec belief that their […]

Day of the Dead

El Dia de Los Muertos is here again. Since I last wrote about this holiday, we have had some crushing losses.  My dear friend lost her husband.  My grandson lost his dearest friend. Last year my brother-in-law died after long illness.  Sometimes a loss is a blessing. We are rejoicing for our long time friend […]

El Año de los Muertos

I don’t believe that we owe anyone grief to infinity and beyond.  And I also believe that I owe it to myself to move through and beyond my grief, no matter what the cause. And today, on El Día de los Muertos, I acknowledge that some losses are easier to process than others. Already the […]

Crushed by the Weight of Genetics

Dear Descendants, Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my mother’s death.  So maybe she was on my mind, or maybe she’s channeling.  (Which way does that go?  Am I channeling? Or do we need someone to channel?)  Anyway, I’m calculating my mother’s age at different periods of her life. She was always…unique! Both Mom and […]

El Dia de los Muertos

The Day of the Dead is one of my favorite holidays.  It isn’t a sad time.  It’s a time that warms us in the glow of loved ones remembering loved ones. When I look at my ofrenda on the fireplace mantel, I have no sorrow.  My heart swells with pleasure that I have discovered an […]

This grieving thing…

Maybe it’s the approach of El Dia de los Muertos or sorting old photos; something has pulled my grief from the back burner where it’s been simmering, waiting for its moment. It comes with questions: Am I past the acceptable time?  When is it time to grieve?  When is it time to stop?  Have I […]