Forgiveness…What Grief has to do with It.

I listened twice to Brené Brown discussing her book, Rising Strong, on Super Soul Sunday. It was the second time through when I really heard the part about forgiveness. “In order for forgiveness to happen, something has to die.”  She quoted her pastor as saying. And then she mentioned grief. What? I’ve never put that […]

The Heart of a Soldier

To Every Soldier, Because my life has not included personal experience with war, I can’t pretend to comprehend the effects. Still, I am grateful. My gratitude perches precariously upon a constant ache for the men and women who have done battle and whose deepest wounds may not be visible to the world. The physical losses, […]

Family Dissension – Without Answers

I sometimes bring this letter forward from my archives because there seem to be a lot of people searching for letters to write to their own children.  Originally post October 5, 2010. Family dissension is an everyday thing; the kind in which someone or everyone disagrees, argues, and in some strange pattern, agrees to disagree.  […]

…on Meeting Halfway

(NOTE.  This is one of a series of requested letters that will be posted under “Form Letters” for those of you who would like an idea or a template for a letter of your own.) Dear Daughter, I am wondering what has gone wrong between us.  We see things very differently.  I feel as if […]

Absolution in Life and Death

By brother-in-law gave me a great gift by living long enough for me to redeem myself. Our relationship was always tainted by my judgment of how he lived his life.  Looking back, I can’t recall that he singled me out for judgment.  Because of the difference in our beliefs, I’m sure he was appalled at […]

Another Mother’s Day

When I think of myself as a mother I think of myself as a daughter.  Mom died 12 years ago today. In the last years of her life we had forged a bond of reciprocal love. But in many ways, I missed having a mother.  I can’t remember a time in my childhood when my […]

A Spirit of Goodwill

I am in Illinois to testify at a custody hearing for two of my grandchildren.  It is a grueling process for everyone (including the children, who are not required to participate but who, by some means, always become aware that their world is rocking). Setting aside the troubling necessity to legitimize the relationship, family and […]

Honest Questions

Dear Nephew, I sent you a letter yesterday but it came from my fingers, not from my heart. Nothing changes how much I love and care about you.   I want to see you and communicate but I can’t seem to go forward. When I first got the news I went into a “dead zone” of […]

Did you brush your teeth?

My poor dear children.  Does that question echo in your ears as it does in mine? Sometimes when I am beating myself up as a parent I wonder if you are all marked by my thoughtless words and deeds. Is your self-confidence  stunted forever?  Why didn’t I check before we left the house?  Who knows?  […]

Victory!!!

Dear Granddaughter, I am thrilled for you. I’ve known women twice your age who couldn’t handle this situation: To run into your boyfriend, who hooked up with your best friend behind your back, to see them together on your second night home, and to handle it with dignity and grace.  Good on you! Buckets of […]