Living Through Death

Most of us can only look at death from the outside. We struggle to understand and want to be in it for the people we love, but their’s is a solitary path. My friend is facing the loss of her brother to advancing cancer. She wants to be there for him and craves the close […]

My Friend, Gen

“You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” Wild Geese by Mary Oliver* Today I have lost a dear friend. I am sad. And, […]

A Blessing of Mothers

I’m the lucky one. I have had mothering and mentoring from at least four wonderful women. They mutually excelled one another in the gifts they have given me. When I read my past post about  Mother, I feel as if I have said most of it.  I learned to appreciate her particular brand of motherhood […]

Joy and Sorrow in the Afternoon

I know! I know! I create suffering by my expectations. Still, I always expect the best. I’ve written before about my lifelong BFF. You can read about her here. I love this woman. In spite of her dementia, she is always thrilled to see me. Two weeks ago we had a wonderful time when I […]

Losing a Friend

“Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness… Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise…“ Psalms 100 I am not a memory keeper. I look to others in my life to save the details of my history – to rehash and relish silly […]

The Elusive Past

She gestures, looking around and opening her arms to the world, “I didn’t know everything would change.” Her mind won’t grasp details. If I asked her, she wouldn’t come up with examples.  Out of kindness, I don’t ask. I understand that nothing is as she would have expected. My friend has always been a take-charge […]

A Language Lesson

Who knew that a shining moment in my quest to be a loving and helping person would come by saying fewer than 20 words? A little background… My sisters, two friends and I are living the dream in southern Italy. We have rented an apartment for a month in a town rarely visited by Americans […]

If I could have had anyone…(on Mother’s Day)

…I would have had you. But, of course, you’re too young to be my mother.  And so you are my friend. And you have mothered me, mentored me, loved me and taught me.  I look at you and know that if there is anyone in the world who loves me unconditionally, it is you.  If […]

Owning Up

I was having lunch with a friend a few days ago.  She was wearing her name tag. Who knows why I commented…maybe because when someone affixes one to my lapel, I tend to forget it and wear it until I get to my grandson’s ball game.  (My daughter will always look at me and ask […]

Death

I had a plan tonight.  It seems so senseless now. Like the death of a teenage boy who is like family to our family. Death by drowning.  Swept from an outcropping.  Swept from the lives of the people who love him. Grief isn’t just the loss of this young man.  It is the agony of […]