Why am I so sad?

I am infinitely sad.  It is physical.  I hurt somewhere between my chest and my stomach where it is hollow. Silliness. My husband is only going home.  I’m staying here alone, but I’ve been here many times by myself and I enjoy it.  I know people, I know places, I have what I need. And […]

Me Me Me Me Me Me Me

Each day I aspire to  some version of enlightenment.  When things fall apart  I’d like be a cross between my father and Pema Chodron… I’ll listen, I’ll pray, and calmly love and support; caring deeply but retaining enough detachment to serve a higher purpose. Yet some days I am astounded by my selfishness.  I am […]

Fear and Decisions

I was reading When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron while waiting in the oncology office for my friend.  I was getting to the part about facing fear… Her illness isn’t about my fear.  And after the first shock when I learned of her breast cancer, my feelings about her illness are not wrapped up […]

I Can’t Protect You

Dear Son, When the light goes off and my head rests on my pillow, I pray for the health and safety of my children and grandchildren. If I am wakeful I say each name.  For now you are on the top of my list every night.  As always, I want to protect you. But I […]