A Generation Between

I wrote this many years ago…and it is still so true.   Dear Children, It comes down to the difference between parenting and grandparenting. Without blaming myself as a parent, I understand the difficulties of parenting: showing love versus giving guidance; giving direction without giving orders; teaching values without imposing ideology. When you were born […]

Parenting is Forever

I sometimes bring this letter forward from my archives because there seem to be a lot of people searching for letters to write to their own children.  Originally post March 29, 2011. Dear Child of Mine, Many of my thoughts of parenting represent hope for a better yesterday. I was inspired by watching Maya Angelou […]

The Spirits Are Arriving

“To forget one’s ancestors is to be a brook without a source, a tree without a root.” Chinese Proverb The visitations begin early for me. I get a nudge from my sister, Pat…”How about hummus?” Mom is always insistent on her butter beans (but this year I’m making her slaw). And I’m not sure whether […]

There are all sorts of love.

On my way to a nephew’s wedding celebration today. Thinking of these connections I am reprinting this post from 2009. “And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.”  Raymond Carver I had a […]

Wondering…

Reposted from 2/17/2011 because I had forgotten it until someone searched it out and read it.  NOTE: This is an extremely shallow treatment of a complex subject…just so you realize that I’m aware! My dentist and his assistant were talking about child rearing as they worked. I had been included in the conversation until it […]

I’m glad to be back…I think…maybe…

Dear Granddaughter, Ah, from one birthday to the next, you’ve changed…and it doesn’t all show. It’s wonderful to have you back after an 10 months in a foreign country.  I know you’re safe.  I can look at you, touch you.   I notice your new poise and confidence.  You’re more independent.  These are obvious changes that […]

I get misty…

Dear Grandchildren, I was picking raspberries this morning with memories of you.  I hear your excited cries at the mention of the garden.  I see sweet stubby fingers reaching for berries, or hands cupped in readiness for me to drop them in.  Your puffy red lips sucked the ripe fruit as quickly as it reached […]

Death is always unexpected

“These are the times that try men’s souls. “* Dear Grandson, In all of your loss in the past months, this is the first that you might have expected.  Yet there is no real preparation for the death of someone we love.   We can understand that death comes to all of us.  We can watch approaching […]

I know what you’re thinking…

Do you realize how old I know you think I am when you call me “Honey” or “Dearie”?  (Dearie is the worst, isn’t it?  It conjures up the mental image of an old woman with wispy white curls in a translucent halo over a pink scalp.  Or a man so old as to be androgynous, […]

Time’s a Wasting…

I’m hung up on this issue of procrastination. When I count the minutes I truly waste in a day, I drown in self-recrimination. All those minutes would add up to months and years of lost time.  (And I don’t use the term “waste” lightly.  I don’t count gazing at my garden and listening to the […]