As your desire is, so is your will. As your will is, so is your deed. As your deed is, so is your destiny. – Brihadaranyaka Upanishad (IV.4.5)   Ah…to think that I my destiny may be nurtured in the arms of my unacknowledged desires. That I may not even be aware of what drives me toward it. This […]

There are all sorts of love.

On my way to a nephew’s wedding celebration today. Thinking of these connections I am reprinting this post from 2009. “And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.”  Raymond Carver I had a […]

…on Worrying about Your Children

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. Corrie Ten Boom Dear Parent, Don’t waste your precious moments with your son. Stop a moment and look at him. Treasure him. Be grateful. It’s difficult growing up in a “successful” family. Everywhere one looks one sees certainty, solidity and pretty […]

Family Dissension – Without Answers

I sometimes bring this letter forward from my archives because there seem to be a lot of people searching for letters to write to their own children.  Originally post October 5, 2010. Family dissension is an everyday thing; the kind in which someone or everyone disagrees, argues, and in some strange pattern, agrees to disagree.  […]

I’m All In

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow. Brené Brown I spent many years in relationships while having one foot out of the door. Those were the times when I was saying I wanted to be a friend, a lover, a member of a group, and in […]

…On Finding a New Love

“When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep.” Kahlil Gibran I am thrilled for you. Your new life is beginning. You have spent months and years grieving, honoring and remembering your husband. You have made it through all of the “firsts” and “seconds”. You have lived with deep sorrow […]

More Thoughts on Death

Acceptance of death is a work in progress. It is a aggregate of little losses that don’t end with the last breath. It is the involuntary onset of change that leaves us stumbling in confusion, even if we anticipated it. After lingering illness, although our conscious minds wouldn’t wish a return to the last days […]

Happy Anniversary

Last night as we lay in bed, we reminded each other that today is our wedding anniversary. I was complimenting you on hanging in there for fifty-three years. I added the tagline, “So far!” “You always say that,” you protested. And you’re right. It’s my timeworn joke: we never make the claim that we will […]


“No human relation gives one possession in another – every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.” Khalil Gibran Yep, I get it. One of my flaws is that I am a fixer.  Not that I can […]

Acceptance and Change

Dear Nephew, Thank you for sharing your insights with me.  I’m happy for you that you can take responsibility for those things in your life which you have done and still understand that much of what happens in our lives (especially our childhood) is without our input and outside of our control.  It’s very releasing […]