Holding On

I’m not living in the present.  I’m not living in gratitude. I know, because  this morning I awoke with grief and anxiety.  Having categorized and cataloged everything in my life that might worry me or cause unrest, my thoughts continually returned to my sisters.  And I wonder at the fear that can contaminate the most […]

Death is always unexpected

“These are the times that try men’s souls. “* Dear Grandson, In all of your loss in the past months, this is the first that you might have expected.  Yet there is no real preparation for the death of someone we love.   We can understand that death comes to all of us.  We can watch approaching […]

Time’s a Wasting…

I’m hung up on this issue of procrastination. When I count the minutes I truly waste in a day, I drown in self-recrimination. All those minutes would add up to months and years of lost time.  (And I don’t use the term “waste” lightly.  I don’t count gazing at my garden and listening to the […]

As soon as…

I spend a lot of time waiting for my life to be over.  Well, not exactly OVER. It’s just that after the party I’m going to begin meditating at least once a day .  I’m too busy until then. I’ll take a walk as soon as I meditate. I’ll do my yoga after my walk. […]

Oh, the places you’ll go….*

Dear Son, That was a strange way for me to respond to your good news, wasn’t it?  I was being kind of silly and it didn’t come out well. Because it sounded as if I subscribe to the belief that who we are is defined by where we live.  And I don’t think I believe […]

Ramblings on Death and Uncertainty

“Since death is certain, and time of death is uncertain; what is important?” Pema Chodron,  The Way of the Bodhisattva. My mind is filled with the words of others today.  My own thoughts don’t come in proper sequence.  Some lead to blank walls.  Some lead to a gerbil wheel of questions that I can’t seem […]

To Thine Own Self…

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Hamlet Act 1, scene 3 Dear Granddaughter, I have been thinking so much about our conversation on Sunday.  Trust is truly the foundation of all relationships. Rebuilding the […]

The Reality Known as Parents

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent.  ~Bette Davis Unless we are criminally neglectful or abusive or just plain bat-shit crazy, there is really no protection from us as parents.  And even if we are any of those, chances are we are not permanently divided from our […]

My Day is Here

I use Annie Dillard’s quote often: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”   My birthday was a reminder that the days are slipping into years. Even as I bemoaned not living congruently with my life’s priority list…I knew instantly and with conviction that change was my prerogative.  So I […]

Voyage to Self

“I am the captain of my soul.”  William Ernest Henley I am watching and listening and remembering.  I was older than you when I discovered that it was within my power to be the person I wanted to be.   It had nothing to do with being rich or famous.  It had everything to do with […]