Holding on to My Self

Life is such a process, isn’t it? I cruise along.  I am contented, productive, loving… …and I’m gone.  I struggle, I’m useless,  snarky and and powerless. Holding on to my self has been the single hardest struggle in my life. In my twenties I would hear of people going off to “find themselves”.  That was […]

A Family Heritage

Oletha gets some credit. Mostly, I avoid all habits that lead to being like my mother. I don’t want my feet to crackle when I put my socks on.  I hate being caught with a faraway look in the midst of  family conversation that swirls unnoticed around me.  I dread the “Oletha” moments when I […]

And then there was me…

Am I not the pious one?  When I read my last blog I realize once again how easy it is to acknowledge the problems of others.  My fingers speed over the keyboard expressing my unease with alcohol as used by others.  I’m a master of how it should be for all of those “drinkers” out […]

Growing up with Love

This is a hard one, isn’t it?  Your daughter is 18 and diving headlong into a situation that you can foresee as difficult if not emotionally dangerous.  What’s a father to do?  The perils of dating older men at this age are frightening to contemplate. I don’t know the answers…but I have some thoughts… Your […]

Voyage to Self

“I am the captain of my soul.”  William Ernest Henley I am watching and listening and remembering.  I was older than you when I discovered that it was within my power to be the person I wanted to be.   It had nothing to do with being rich or famous.  It had everything to do with […]

My Invisibility Cloak

“It is so comic to hear oneself called old, even at ninety I suppose!” Alice James When I had attention I didn’t appreciate it.  I remember complaining at the way men stared.  I especially resented the standard, “Hey, sweetie”.  I bristled at pet names from strangers and sometimes got mouthy when I was referred to […]

Between Parent and Child

In the history of my blog, this is the most highly read post.  I don’t know if that is due to the content or the name.  I am bringing it forward for so many of you who are looking for it. Dear Nephew. Thoughts and responses come rushing to me as I read your letter.  […]

Following Desire

As usual here in Mexico I was drinking my coffee on the porch this morning.  My little stalker trailed down the street behind his father.  He looked up, met my eyes and automatically veered toward me.  He took a few steps before his father noticed and called to him.  He stumbled toward the call, watching […]

The Last Shot

Risking your wrath I am begging a favor. Please “untag” the last photo on Facebook. It erases the real you and leaves a blurred version. For you, this photo may hold memories of wonderful times with friends. For me it only causes worry and sadness. I can visualize you: bright eyes, tender mouth and clearly […]

My Self as a Work in Progress

I wanted to stretch myself.  I wanted to step outside of my tiny little comfort zone and bravely join a group of unknown women in a little house on a big ocean.  The thought of it reminded me of movies I’ve seen: strangers thrust upon each other who arrive with problems, prickly personalities and different […]