There are all sorts of love.

On my way to a nephew’s wedding celebration today. Thinking of these connections I am reprinting this post from 2009. “And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.”  Raymond Carver I had a […]

Gratitude and Joy

Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy.  Meredith Grey But I think it does. My son and I were discussing joy yesterday. How do we put joy in our life? How do we identify what gives us joy? One way, I think, is by presence in a moment of our lives and having gratitude […]

To My Little Sister

Dear Sister: What have you been to me? A baby who disrupted excruciatingly long road trips to visit family in Indiana. A bratty three-year-old who manifested all of the behavior of a child born late in a troubled marriage. An alien pre-adolescent who lived with and in the shadow of my mother and so sometimes […]

Family Ties

Having just returned from a week visiting family, my priorities are reinforced: the past, the present and the future of family is what matters. It was a pleasure-packed trip. Not only did I get to see where my granddaughter lives during this year of college, I spent  hours with some of my siblings. Sisters and […]

Family Reunions

There is something wonderful about a family reunion. Surveying a crowd and recognizing my own gene pool both chastens and rejuvenates me.  It can be a bit off-putting and still carry a familiarity that is comforting. My next-oldest sister loved reunions. From the time we were young parents she tried to get the sisters together […]

A Day Older

Yesterday marked the beginning of another decade, my 70th birthday.  I’m expected to feel old, if not older.  So how do I really feel about it? I feel the same. I’m grateful to have reached this age with my mind and body relatively intact. Although I see myself as young, I’m aware of how I […]

We’re off to see the “Grandmother”…

…because of the wonderful things she does.” Well, it did have a “Dorothy looking for the Wizard” sort of quality.  And I do have that sometime trait of looking without for what is within. Although, I didn’t have a request.  And I knew my way home.  But I was definitely searching for some mysterious and […]

On Accepting Myself

Dear Sister, I struggle with this concept and I think you do, too.   Accepting ourselves has never been easy for either of us. Oprah has been telling us for years that we are perfect the way we are.  And like all of the rest of us, I think she is still convincing herself.  And […]

Holding On

I’m not living in the present.  I’m not living in gratitude. I know, because  this morning I awoke with grief and anxiety.  Having categorized and cataloged everything in my life that might worry me or cause unrest, my thoughts continually returned to my sisters.  And I wonder at the fear that can contaminate the most […]

Absolution in Life and Death

By brother-in-law gave me a great gift by living long enough for me to redeem myself. Our relationship was always tainted by my judgment of how he lived his life.  Looking back, I can’t recall that he singled me out for judgment.  Because of the difference in our beliefs, I’m sure he was appalled at […]