I’m Still Here!

Magical Thinking  denotes the belief that one’s thoughts by themselves can bring about effects in the world or that thinking something corresponds with doing it. – Wikipedia A few nights ago, I dreamed that I was running down the hall. I called out to my daughter because I had left my cane behind. “Look,” I […]

Gospel Music Sunday

My dad died 10 years ago today. My mom died 20 years ago last month. They both loved me very much. I wouldn’t want them to have lived with the grief of my having a stroke. Although they would’ve been full of knowledgeable suggestions. In fact, mom had a stroke at 75, too. And they […]

My Best Therapy

I walked along the beach from my daughters place to the enramada. ****** After five months of needing care, I wanted to take my annual sojourn to Mexico and regain some independence. After a stroke it is easy to feel as if you will be dependent forever. And it’s easy to be lazy. When everyone […]

International Travel – post stroke

My trip to Mexico was a wonderful dream. It is an annual trip and I began planning for it three weeks after my stroke. My ticket had been bought earlier and I was determined to visit my “familia” in Mexico and be near the seashore for the month of January. My daughters were committed to […]

Happy New Year

It wasn’t so long ago that I took a happy new year’s greeting at face value. Of course, the new year would be happy. The worldfFelt totally within my control and I expected good things. Well, I still expect good things. But it has come quite emphatically to my attention in the past year that […]

Thanksgiving

“Why you be so pi’iful” Gracie, 4 years old As I was working my way through dressing this morning, I was worrying about Facetime. I know I will see all of my family today via electronics. Am I presentable? Suddenly, I found myself crying. I don’t want my grandchildren to think I’m pitiful. In the […]

Pema, mi Maestra

“In the morning when you wake up, you reflect on the day ahead and aspire to use it to keep a wide open heart and mind. At the end of the day, before you go to sleep, you think over what you have done. If you fulfill your aspiration, even once, rejoice in that. If […]

My Bubble Life

On August 2 the temperature in Medford was 109. My husband and older daughter and I escaped the heat to enjoy a friends’ beach house a few hours from home. it was paradise – walking he beach in the ocean breeze, drinking fruity cocktails on the deck while watching the sun set the ocean, sleeping […]

Absolution in Life and Death

By brother-in-law gave me a great gift by living long enough for me to redeem myself. Our relationship was always tainted by my judgment of how he lived his life.  Looking back, I can’t recall that he singled me out for judgment.  Because of the difference in our beliefs, I’m sure he was appalled at […]

On the Way to Being Myself

It’s comforting to know that I can do what I need to do when I need to do it.  I’m pleased that I can step up to the plate in the split second of necessity and perform with a modicum of grace. Especially when I have gone through a week of self-tortured internal brattiness.  Why, […]