Crushed by the Weight of Genetics

Dear Descendants, Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my mother’s death.  So maybe she was on my mind, or maybe she’s channeling.  (Which way does that go?  Am I channeling? Or do we need someone to channel?)  Anyway, I’m calculating my mother’s age at different periods of her life. She was always…unique! Both Mom and […]

Mother’s Day

I’m thinking about Osama Bin Laden’s mother. Well, actually, I don’t even know if she’s alive.  It’s the concept. Because for each of us who are celebrating Mother’s day in the arms of our family, receiving gifts, calls, cards and letters;  there is another mother whose child is vilified by the world, or incarcerated, or […]

Ramblings on Death and Uncertainty

“Since death is certain, and time of death is uncertain; what is important?” Pema Chodron,  The Way of the Bodhisattva. My mind is filled with the words of others today.  My own thoughts don’t come in proper sequence.  Some lead to blank walls.  Some lead to a gerbil wheel of questions that I can’t seem […]

What’s a Mother to Do? Act II

I’m revisiting that soul searching about my role.  I think this is another lesson in letting go, but how can I be sure? My children and grandchildren are attending funerals of their loved ones this week.  The dear departed are not my loved ones, but they are loved by my loved ones.  And I want […]

A Prayer for this Season (and every season)

There are so many things that I can’t do for my children and grandchildren.  Much of the time I make myself believe otherwise.  Not always. The older brother of my grandson’s friend has taken his own life.  It is devastating. I understand that he had been depressed, but what was so catastrophic?  Was it a […]

Suicide…the Ultimate Sorrow

My children and grandchildren live outside of my ring of protection.  Much of the time I convince myself otherwise.  Not always. The brother of my grandson’s close friend has taken his own life.  It is devastating.  I understand that he had been depressed, but what was so catastrophic?  Was it a chemical thing?  Was life […]

What’s a Mother to Do?

I have a new role but  the script hasn’t been delivered yet. My husband and I are now the parents of grown children in crisis. This is new to us.  Oh, we’ve had our share of job losses, accidents, recalcitrant children, surgeries, and relationship traumas; but we haven’t had those gut-wrenching, stress inducing, life threatening […]

One Bite at a Time

I’ve been working on this stress/food relationship for a couple of years.  Once I identified the close correlation, I began my journey toward mindfulness.  Why am I eating?  What am I solving?  Am I helping myself?  Am I harming myself? Yesterday I traveled to the stress.  Coupled with my own propensity to fast forward, and […]

A Family Heritage

Oletha gets some credit. Mostly, I avoid all habits that lead to being like my mother. I don’t want my feet to crackle when I put my socks on.  I hate being caught with a faraway look in the midst of  family conversation that swirls unnoticed around me.  I dread the “Oletha” moments when I […]

Thoughts When She Left…

All feelings are intensified exponentially when we have grandchildren.  We are lifted to unspeakable joy when good things happen to and for them.  We are dropped into an abyss of sorrow and pain when bad things occur.  …And all of the sensations in between?  The same: we experience them fully for ourselves, for our children […]