This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
I have been thinking so much about our conversation on Sunday. Trust is truly the foundation of all relationships.
Rebuilding the trust of your family and friends who traveled with you through low points of your addiction is a high priority, I know. On your path of recovery, you hope to make amends, start fresh, be the person they will admire, and have them reflect your success to you.
I keep thinking about the times in my life when I was looking everywhere for reinforcement when I needed to look within. I was depending on others when my greatest need was to trust myself. There were times when my friends had great confidence in me when I wasn’t really trustworthy. I knew it. They didn’t. But most of the time I have come through well. And I still work hard at keeping my word to myself because I am the person I need to believe in.
So I’m happy that you are rebuilding self-trust. By remaining in rehab when you are free to leave and by doing the work, you are proving your trustworthiness one day at a time. I also see you realizing your own capabilities. You are grasping the available tools and are a willing apprentice in their use. And you have always had great faith in yourself to learn necessary lessons.
Trusting myself has become my mainstay, and I think it will be yours. If your faith is in your program and how you use it, you can’t be sidetracked or sabotaged by what others can or cannot provide. You will build your solid future. You will continue to learn.
Be yourself, my love. Trust yourself. You have what you need within you.
P. S. And, of course, you are surrounded by love:)