Take my word for it. Hmm…

Advice is dicey, isn’t it? And it isn’t even just the words…it’s how it’s delivered and to whom it is given.  We’re not talking batting around ideas together.  We’re talking ADVICE! Let’s assume it’s a perfect world.  I have suddenly been blessed with 3D supersonic insight and know exactly what is needed. Scenario 1: My […]

Vulnerability

Vulnerability has been a buzzword for awhile. The concept isn’t new. The struggle for intimacy has been the root of our relationship issues forever, hasn’t it?  And vulnerability is the key to intimacy. I can’t have close relationships if I don’t engage. Show up. Be myself. Risk being hurt. Open my heart. I’m in a […]

Starring….”Mother”

My most important role in life has been “Mother”.  I took on the role with some false assumptions and no realistic script. Not even an audition. Getting the part was much simpler than other occupations I later tried. There was no training, no exam, not even routine practice questions. That’s why I call it a […]

A Blessing of Mothers

Reprinted from May 7, 2016 I’m the lucky one. I have had mothering and mentoring from at least four wonderful women. They mutually excelled one another in the gifts they have given me. When I read my past post about  Mother, I feel as if I have said most of it.  I learned to appreciate […]

I acknowledge the loss…

Republished on what would have been Trayvon’s 24th birthday. …of a young man in Florida. When I read this boy’s name, one among thousands of young black men who have died for the wrong reasons, I am overwhelmed by grief and shame. The grief is for myself and every other parent and grandparent who cannot […]

My Mother’s Birthday

Dear Children, Here it is – Mom’s birthday again. Will I ever get better at expressing my feelings about my mother?  I know that the longer I live, the more I understand both her and myself. Observing her difficulty in making connection is an object lesson in love. In the years when you were under […]

I Love You

Dear Children and Grandchildren: I love you. And I wish i could always show it in the right way. I wish I knew how to say it better. Still, life is like that between parent and child. Flawed. Inexact. Fraught with emotions and angst. And filled with love and true caring. So I ask you […]

Parenting is Forever

I sometimes bring this letter forward from my archives because there seem to be a lot of people searching for letters to write to their own children.  Originally post March 29, 2011. Dear Child of Mine, Many of my thoughts of parenting represent hope for a better yesterday. I was inspired by watching Maya Angelou […]

Taking Care – a Gift to Ourselves

Dear Children, We all talk a lot about taking care of ourselves. There are so many suggestions – hot baths, time to read a book, a camping trip and a fishing pole, a night out with friends. These methods are bandaids, treating the symptoms and ignoring the root causes of exhaustion and overwhelm. They don’t […]

Our Little Candle

One of my best Christmas decisions came, not from peace and goodwill toward men, but through frustration and fatigue. I have nine grandchildren whose needs (and many of their wants) are bountifully met. For many years Christmas buying was an obstacle course of avoiding the respective lists of Santa and their parents in order to […]