I Love You

Dear Children and Grandchildren: I love you. And I wish i could always show it in the right way. I wish I knew how to say it better. Still, life is like that between parent and child. Flawed. Inexact. Fraught with emotions and angst. And filled with love and true caring. So I ask you […]

A Blessing of Mothers

I’m the lucky one. I have had mothering and mentoring from at least four wonderful women. They mutually excelled one another in the gifts they have given me. When I read my past post about  Mother, I feel as if I have said most of it.  I learned to appreciate her particular brand of motherhood […]

A Generation Between

I wrote this many years ago…and it is still so true.   Dear Children, It comes down to the difference between parenting and grandparenting. Without blaming myself as a parent, I understand the difficulties of parenting: showing love versus giving guidance; giving direction without giving orders; teaching values without imposing ideology. When you were born […]

Parenting is Forever

I sometimes bring this letter forward from my archives because there seem to be a lot of people searching for letters to write to their own children.  Originally post March 29, 2011. Dear Child of Mine, Many of my thoughts of parenting represent hope for a better yesterday. I was inspired by watching Maya Angelou […]

Taking Care – a Gift to Ourselves

Dear Children, We all talk a lot about taking care of ourselves. There are so many suggestions – hot baths, time to read a book, a camping trip and a fishing pole, a night out with friends. These methods are bandaids, treating the symptoms and ignoring the root causes of exhaustion and overwhelm. They don’t […]

Our Little Candle

One of my best Christmas decisions came, not from peace and goodwill toward men, but through frustration and fatigue. I have nine grandchildren whose needs (and many of their wants) are bountifully met. For many years Christmas buying was an obstacle course of avoiding the respective lists of Santa and their parents in order to […]

Women Paying it Forward

Last Sunday I went to a soulful gathering for my granddaughter. It was unusual because in our culture – lacking a Bat Mitzvah or a Quinceañera – there seems to be no tradition that formally launches a young woman. More importantly there is no occasion on which she is held in the circle of the […]

Passing the Torch

“…it is our attachment to the thoughts we have of who we are that may be the impediment to living life fully, and a stubborn obstacle to any realization of who and what we actually are, and of what is important, and possible.” Jon Kabat-Zinn Giving up pride of place as a parent is a […]

My Mother, My Life

Dear Mother. I wish I had understood you better in our years together. I’ve had a lot of time now to come to see you from my own perspective as a mother and as a daughter. A mother who is a bundle of unresolved complexities is never easy. Our culture glorifies that woman who is […]

My Legacy

A few years ago when I was here in Mexico*, I got a request from a woman who was close to my age. She had suffered a heart attack and, having come the realization that life is fragile, she wanted to leave a legacy to her family. She asked for help in writing final letters […]