…More

In our early years my husband and I had a standard patter: “I love you.” “I love you more.” Perhaps then it was a playful kind of one-upmanship, but now it just makes me think of how relationships go. It seems a given in any relationship – each partner thinks they do more, work harder, […]

Being Who You Are

Periodically I read this letter and wonder who needs to hear encouraging words. This is a long one…but take only what YOU need. Dear Granddaughter, I have been thinking about who you are.   You are smart; you are beautiful; you are kind and generous (btw, no one is 100% on this);  you are clever and […]

Expectations and Relationships

“What are expectations but premeditated disappointments?” Rod Stryker Let’s go back to expectations, shall we? Is it impossible to live without expectation? If we are really living the in present moment…does that mean we have left expectations behind? It’s a puzzle to me. Frequently I obsess about this since a conversation with my son almost […]

Follow Your Own Dreams

Years ago my granddaughter was what…enamored? in love? in lust?  I just re-discovered this letter I wrote to her. Does it work for you and yours? Dear Granddaughter: Thanks for sharing his letter.  I know that hearing from him means a lot to you. Are you seeing what I’m seeing in his response to you?  […]

A Generation Between

I wrote this many years ago…and it is still so true.   Dear Children, It comes down to the difference between parenting and grandparenting. Without blaming myself as a parent, I understand the difficulties of parenting: showing love versus giving guidance; giving direction without giving orders; teaching values without imposing ideology. When you were born […]

There are all sorts of love.

On my way to a nephew’s wedding celebration today. Thinking of these connections I am reprinting this post from 2009. “And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.”  Raymond Carver I had a […]

Family Dissension – Without Answers

I sometimes bring this letter forward from my archives because there seem to be a lot of people searching for letters to write to their own children.  Originally post October 5, 2010. Family dissension is an everyday thing; the kind in which someone or everyone disagrees, argues, and in some strange pattern, agrees to disagree.  […]

…on Having a 21-Year-Old Granddaughter.

I first published this when my first Granddaughter turned 21 in 2009. Now three of my grandchildren have attained this magical age. Ah, how the time files. I am re-publishing this because I have so many requests for Letters to Grandchildren as they grow to adulthood. To my Granddaughter: Twenty-one years ago today my life […]

Wondering…

Reposted from 2/17/2011 because I had forgotten it until someone searched it out and read it.  NOTE: This is an extremely shallow treatment of a complex subject…just so you realize that I’m aware! My dentist and his assistant were talking about child rearing as they worked. I had been included in the conversation until it […]

Dodging and Darting

My granddaughter and I have talked about the difficulty of holding on to ourselves in relationships.  I don’t think this phenomenon is restricted to women, but I know much more about it from my own angle. In my younger years I lost myself religiously and sometimes consciously. I believed that it was my job to […]