50 Years and Counting

REPOSTED FROM 2009 This morning I am sitting on the deck of a sailing ship looking across a turquoise sea to a Caribbean Island. The scene has changed from 1959. Then it was an emotional and spiritual crisis for a Catholic to marry a Protestant. Then it wasn’t common, but neither was it unheard of, […]

To My Valentine

To My Valentine, I have so many valentines now. But as I am thinking about my children and my grandchildren, my mind turns to you. You are the one, after all. You are the one who has always loved me. All of those years ago I didn’t understand how such a stud decided to pay […]

St. Valentine’s Day

We have St. Valentine to thank for a lot. On the commercial side, this day has created all sorts of reasons to fall short, to spend money, to be disappointed, etc. On the bright side, it is a beautiful excuse to convey love to the people in our lives. How shall I choose a Valentine? […]

…to My Husband When I Die

To My Dear Husband, I think you know how important you are to me. Yet I’m happy to to say it in words one last time. When you read this, I will have passed from this physical plane. And my love will live on in you. My heart attack gave me a second chance. It […]

What I’ve Left Behind

My husband will probably never understand why I travel. And especially why I put myself in tenuous situations and call it a break. I want to give him a shout-out. I meant to do this as I was leaving…but… In case you’ve noticed my absence, I’m in Mexico where the internet is unreliable at best. […]

Years…and Years…

Dear Husband, I don’t write to you often.  Do you feel as if our children and grandchildren take priority?  I hope not.  It’s just that you have heard everything I have to say. LOL How could we ever have imagined the long path we have followed?  Even were it possible for young people to project […]

On the Way to Being Myself

It’s comforting to know that I can do what I need to do when I need to do it.  I’m pleased that I can step up to the plate in the split second of necessity and perform with a modicum of grace. Especially when I have gone through a week of self-tortured internal brattiness.  Why, […]

Why am I so sad?

I am infinitely sad.  It is physical.  I hurt somewhere between my chest and my stomach where it is hollow. Silliness. My husband is only going home.  I’m staying here alone, but I’ve been here many times by myself and I enjoy it.  I know people, I know places, I have what I need. And […]

What’s a Mother to Do?

I have a new role but  the script hasn’t been delivered yet. My husband and I are now the parents of grown children in crisis. This is new to us.  Oh, we’ve had our share of job losses, accidents, recalcitrant children, surgeries, and relationship traumas; but we haven’t had those gut-wrenching, stress inducing, life threatening […]

My Invisibility Cloak

“It is so comic to hear oneself called old, even at ninety I suppose!” Alice James When I had attention I didn’t appreciate it.  I remember complaining at the way men stared.  I especially resented the standard, “Hey, sweetie”.  I bristled at pet names from strangers and sometimes got mouthy when I was referred to […]