Letting Go

Who hurt you, once, so far beyond repair that you would meet each overture with curling lip? While we, who knew you well, your friends, (the focus of your scorn) could see your courage in the face of fear, your wit, and thoughtfulness, and will remember you with something close to love. Marylyn Plessner Maybe […]

A Generation Between

I wrote this many years ago…and it is still so true. Dear Children, It comes down to the difference between parenting and grandparenting. Without blaming myself as a parent, I understand the difficulties of parenting: showing love versus giving guidance; giving direction without giving orders; teaching values without imposing ideology. When you were born I […]

Getting Real…kinda…

I think I understand the Slough of Despond.* I have cried more in the last month than I have in the last seven months. My feelings are close to the surface. My fear is a jagged edge. It seems ridiculous. I have a prescription for a new physical therapist. He has great expectations for the […]

The Grandparent Thing

“There were no mirrors in my Nana’s house/no mirrors in my Nana’s house/So the beauty that I saw in everything/the beauty in everything/was in her eyes/like the rising of the sun. I only knew love and I never knew hate.” Ysaye M. Barnwell What was my model for grandparenting? Interesting question! Thinking back to when […]

Approval

I’ve written about disapproval. Is approval the offset, then? Both the word and the concept are loaded and become interesting when in the hands of those we love. Approval: blessing: the formal act of approving; “he gave the project his blessing”; “his decision merited the approval of any sensible person” a feeling of liking something […]

Expectations and Relationships

“What are expectations but premeditated disappointments?” Rod Stryker Let’s go back to expectations, shall we? Is it impossible to live without expectation? If we are really living the in present moment…does that mean we have left expectations behind? It’s a puzzle to me. Frequently I obsess about this since a conversation with my son almost […]

I Love You

Dear Children and Grandchildren: I love you. And I wish i could always show it in the right way. I wish I knew how to say it better. Still, life is like that between parent and child. Flawed. Inexact. Fraught with emotions and angst. And filled with love and true caring. So I ask you […]

Winning…and Never Losing

I’ve never been a real athlete but I watch my share of sporting events. Other than March Madness, these events surely include someone I know and love. Moving as a spectator from track meets to lacrosse to baseball to football to crew to basketball to soccer to golf and back again gives me an opportunity […]

You are enough!

I am re-posting this as a form letter. Perhaps it will help you write your your child or grandchild. To what standard do you hold yourself?  Who is the paragon to whom you compare yourself? You do not disappoint! You are a person of soul and virtue.  You may have lived through things or done […]

Happy 21

This is a post brought forward from the past because so many of you are looking for those birthday letters. Dear Granddaughter, The Facebook posts and emails are flying. It is a celebration of you. Our son can’t believe he is the father of a 21-year-old. Your mother is remembering driving you home from the […]