On being more invisible than normal…

The new and (I hope) temporary me.
The new and (I hope) temporary me.

This is the way I have looked for the last week or so. It leads to interesting observations.

Of course, the people who know me realize that I had surgery for Entropion and that I am well pleased to go through a bit of battering and bruising after a year with the irritation of eyelashes in my eye.

And those who don’t know me would probably consider it rude to comment on my looks.

It’s that great span of acquaintances and the people I see on a regular basis who have confounded me with their behavior. In seven full days NOT ONE person commented. Clerks, vendors, neighbors – nothing but a flicker of a glance in my direction and a quick looking away.

When I was at my worst I went with my husband to the local growers’ market. I was wearing large sunglasses and looked unremarkable. Then we stopped to talk with one of our vendor friends who pulled out his phone to show us a photo of his pregnant wife. I removed my sunglasses to look. He glanced quickly at my face, looked away, and never looked back. As I left on my husband’s arm, I said,  “He thinks you hit me1”

And so I have threatened to walk three steps behind and all times and look pitiful…just for show.

It’s  a question, isn’t it? Are people being polite? Shunning possible responsibility? Afraid to mention something so obvious? Totally indifferent?

There are no answers…only conjectures.

Yesterday was my brightest day. As I walked down the street a man was getting out of his pickup. I didn’t recognize him so I smiled and kept walking. He called me back. “Wait, I have something for you.”

He pressed two ripe persimmons into my hands, assuring me that they were delicious and ready to eat. Now that’s a reaction I can live with.



  1. If I were to see you like that, I would almost certainly crack a joke about having been in a brawl. That is, assuming that I knew you well enough. Otherwise, I would coolly look at your husband and give him a silent “You dumbo!” look and move on.


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