In our early years my husband and I had a standard patter:

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Perhaps then it was a playful kind of one-upmanship, but now it just makes me think of how relationships go.

It seems a given in any relationship – each partner thinks they do more, work harder, give more, shouldering more of the load, physically and emotionally. It’s very easy to analyze the faults and quirks of our partners. And so difficult to take on our own responsibilities and to recognize our personal shortcomings.

We look at our partner and are sure that we are more loving, more helpful, more in tune, more understanding… The list goes on and on.

A good practice for me is to think only of myself (in a good way). What can I do to be more available, more connected, more loving, more tolerant, more supportive. I can remind myself to tend to my own business. Be more authentic and less distracted. More responsive and less reactive. More giving and less needy.

It’s a thought.




  1. I hope that with your explorations of the spiritual, this will not come as too much of a shock. I also hope that if it is, that you will seek clarification. All the best.



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